Creating a Tinder profile that stands out is only half the battle. Once you've curated the best photos of yourself, put something witty in your profile to help you stand out among the rest of the competition and spent some time swiping left and right, you'll still need to figure out what to say to your What to talk about on tinder in order to land yourself a date. But knowing what to say to break the ice can be tough — especially when you don't have the benefit of being able to gauge her reaction in person read: Fortunately, following a few ground rules can help set you up for success and help you land more dates.
Here's what you need to know about talking to girls on Tinder.
A few harsh truths about Tinder before we get started on what to do and avoid. First, female Tinder users tend to operate under the old-fashioned approach of guys making the initial move.
Meaning, if you're eagerly waiting to get a message from one of your matches instead of sending one, you're likely going to continue waiting. Second, because it's on guys to message first, women on Tinder usually have a ton of messages in their inbox to peruse through per day. So that "Hey, what's up? Playing it cool works in the real world, but when you're trying to stand out among the other matches, relationship expert David Bennett says being diligent works in your favor.
Take the time to read her profile, and find something that the two of you can have a conversation about. Tell her you've been there too!
Does she have a photo at a restaurant you know? Ask her if she liked it! Is there anything you have in common?
Tell her you enjoy that, too! Literally saying anything but 'hey' will make you stand out from the crowd.
Compliments about her lifestyle and hobbies will go further than complimenting her looks. You're both here to date, so eventually you need to move things offline. Once the two of you have exchanged enough banter to feel comfortable, Amour says it's time to set up a place and time to meet. If you are, then after a few days of messaging, make your move.
It's only one date, after all! See where it goes.
What to talk about on tinder send the message that you're not putting a lot of thought into the messages you're sending — especially where names are concerned. Turn It Into An Interview.
Asking questions to get to know your match a bit better shows that you're interested, but Bennett cautions to steer clear of making your conversation become too mundane. Nobody connects romantically like that! Even things like "Hey sexy," "Hi beautiful," or "Daaaaang" make warning lights go off that you're not looking to date.
Here's an example of when paying attention to the details works. In our example, our dater Colin matches with a podiatrist who loves the outdoors, and breaks the ice with a What to talk about on tinder opener. His first message shows that he read her profile. His initial message is also authentic, and shows off his personality.
He's also taking an interest in what she's doing and what her hobbies are, but doesn't belabor the conversation for too long before asking her out. Plus, his responses are prompt, which keeps her interested and gets to the point quickly, allowing him to get to know her weekend plans and get a date set up in just a few message exchanges. Her match, "Kevin," runs with it, making a confession about how he reacted to one of the movie's spinoffs. Plus, once they do meet up, these two already have an inside joke going between them, and can spend their first date coming up with a "formal protest" about the unfair ratings for one of their favorite childhood movies.
That's the kind of first date story you tell your kids about someday, folks. A thoughtful compliment will earn you brownie points on Tinder — especially if you're genuinely into her taste in music, or love the same local hangout she has a picture in.
But make sure you're not taking things too far when you're complimenting how she looks, as our friend "Scott" learned the hard way in this exchange.
In this exchange, "Scott" is complimenting the dress that Bianca is wearing in her profile picture, where she's standing in front of a local hangout where there's lots of wine bottles in the background.
Which she's into, initially. Unfortunately, he takes it too far in this next message:. And while you don't want to become pen pals, this message sent to Daniela was too much, too soon. Your match listed her name that way because that's what she wants to be called. So fight the urge to turn "Jennifer" into "Jen," and stick to addressing her the way that she presents herself on the app.
Your first message shouldn't be asking her out, either. We want to feel comfortable enough with you to see some of your personality and know that we'd have something in common to talk about before agreeing to meet up in real life.
We don't want to waste our time or yours if it's not a good fit. Are you on Tinder looking for just a hookup rather than a What to talk about on tinder or a relationship? If you're finding yourself frustrated by all the swiping you're doing without getting anywhere, it might be time to consider one of these hookup sites instead — where you can meet someone looking for the same thing: If you're on the hunt for some no-strings-attached action, FriendFinder-X is a great bet.